Westchester Exceptional Children's School

Getting Your Child Ready For School

Going to school is one of life's milestones. School is perhaps the most important venture into the real world. Most parents view their child's school days with mingled feelings of anticipation and trepidation. It reflects their feelings about their own school days. Memories are stirred - fears of getting lost, of not belonging. At the same time we remember the joy of learning, making friends, a wonderful teacher who guided us.

Now that the first day of school is approaching, chances are all your children are excited, eager, a little afraid...and so are you. In this issue you will be given pointers on how to make your special child's school experience as happy and successful as possible.

Do's and Don'ts

Do get your special child off to a good start with a physical examination. Now is the time to have his eyes checked and to mention to your doctor any health problems that might interfere with learning-frequent colds or runny noses, ear infections, possible allergies.

Do keep good records. This is vital for your child as he moves through the special education process. It is more than likely that you will be frequently asked for your child's immunization records, psychological evaluations, teacher reports. Start a file with your child's name on it and keep those records handy.

Do make sure you understand the terminology used by the professionals dealing with your child. Ask them to translate the terms into layman's language. This will avoid misunderstandings and confusion about your child's abilities and those areas where he requires help.

Do make sure your child can separate from you easily. A child who cannot adjust to being without your presence or protection will find it difficult to adjust to a new teacher, or a new school, or even new classmates. Practice by leaving your child in someone else's care-for a short time at first and then for longer periods.

Do help your child learn to take care of his own needs. This is not as simple as it sounds. Hanging up your child's clothing for him, or dressing him may take less time than having him do it himself, but will cause problems in school if his teacher must always assist him. Try to select clothing that is easy to take on and off. Praise and reward all your child's efforts at self care.

Do give him a chance to learn responsibility. Putting away his own toys, taking out the garbage, feeding the family pet are activities that teach responsible behavior which is necessary in group settings, especially school.

Do make sure your child gets used to being told what to do. A child who cannot accept the teacher's directives will be quickly labeled a "behavior problem." Practice having your child follow simple directions at home such as coming immediately when called. Always praise his efforts.

Do familiarize your child with school language. Many times special children are confused in school because they do not understand the terminology. Not knowing the meaning of "line-up," for example, or "boy's room" instead of bathroom can add to your child's apprehension. Make sure your child understands as best he is able words such as: water fountain, gym, cafeteria, library card.

Do help your child with school lunch routines. Practice ahead of time how to open and close a lunch box, drink from a milk carton, unwrap a sandwich, pour liquids from a thermos. If his school serves hot lunches, teach him as best he can how to handle a tray and pay for his food. Fast food restaurants are excellent places to try out these skills.

Don't let mornings frazzle your nerves. A child who gets in the habit of dressing before breakfast will have fewer problems getting ready for school. Remember that many special children have fuzzy concepts of time and no way of determining how long it takes to complete activities. Your cries of "hurry up, hurry up, your bus is coming!" probably have little meaning to your slowpoke. If such inadvertent dawdling is making your mornings a misery, try using an oven timer. Reward your child with special praise for being dressed by the time the bell rings.

Do dress your special child like everyone else. Look around and see what is considered, stylish for other children your child's age. If jeans and sneakers are in fashion, make sure your special child's wardrobe features these items. All children like to belong and looking like one of the gang contributes to the feeling.

Don't forget to talk to your child about his school days. It's important for your special child to share his school experiences with you. Listen carefully and ask questions about how he is getting along with others and how he feels about school. If your child has trouble communicating, perhaps his teacher can drop you a note to keep you up-to-date.

Don't wait until serious problems occur before contacting school. If your child seems unhappy or frustrated, don't hesitate to contact the school immediately. Many times a minor problem can be solved before it becomes a crisis if home and school work together from the beginning. Talk to the teacher, find out what the school policy is concerning home-school contact or telephone conferences. Alert the teacher to any problems you feel are important.

Do take advantage of parent teacher conferences, open school night and other school-related activities. Home and school should get together on what is asked of your child. If you know what is happening at school, you can develop a consistent approach towards your child at home. Knowing about what goes on at school can extend and enrich his school experience. Talk to other parents and join the parent organization if there is one.

Do set up a home-study routine from the very beginning. Get your special child into the habit of sitting quietly and doing such things as coloring or looking at a book. Setting up this type of quiet time for the whole family enables siblings to get their homework done and gives your special child a sense of participation.

Do adopt a positive attitude! If you have positive feelings towards school, chances are your child will, too. Help your youngster understand that differences are not bad. Help him to think of his problems as things that can be overcome and that school is the place where people are working to help him help himself.

The first days of school herald a new beginning. Shiny new shoes and sharpened yellow pencils are for everyone. With your help, your special child's school experiences can increase his joy in life.

Reprinted with permission from Special Parent/Special Child, a bi-monthly newsletter published by Lindell Press, Inc. that was designed to promote effective family functioning between parent and special child. Bylined articles do not necessarily reflect the publisher's viewpoint.

Authored by Linda Murphy, MS. and Suzanne Della Corte, M.S.